I had my biopsy on Monday in Boston. It wasn't the easiest that I've ever had, but it wasn't the fault of any medical professional, it is my body. Bone marrow biopsies have two parts. First, the hip bone is punctured and some marrow is aspirated (sucked) out of it. It lasts about 10 seconds and if I count out loud, it's not too bad. It's not comfortable, but it's not unbearable. Then, a chip is taken off of the bone for pathology. This is where things went a little sideways. My hip bone may have softened, so the chipper thing kept slipping off of the bone. The Nurse Practitioner is very good at doing this and I didn't even have any pain last time she did my biopsy. This time, she asked a doctor to come in and try. Guess what? He couldn't get it either. They did get 2 small chips so hopefully that was enough for pathology. If not, I have no friggin idea what happens next. I will be having a bone density test at my next appointment in July and then we'll see if I need calcium shots or pills or whatever. That's the least of my worries right now.
Back to waiting...tick tock, tick tock. I'm in a fog. I watch TV and I have to re watch shows because nothing is sticking in my brain. I'll try to explain what it's like waiting for biopsy results, or at least what is happening in my head. Here we go: Where's my coffee? I'm not drinking coffee. Where's my water? Did I get water? Is it in the frig? Oh crap, I didn't get water. Is my cell phone volume on high enough so I can hear if it rings? What if this is bad news? Will I die? My labs look good, so I shouldn't worry so much. Oh wait, my labs weren't terrible when they found the MDS. I can't breath. I'm going to put this in God's hands. What if it's my time? Oh my gosh, I'm getting light headed. Now I'm teary. My hands are shaky. This sucks! FUCK!! Why is all this happening again? I'm going to be fine. I'm so pissed. I need to do laundry. Maybe I'll bake something. Those real (fake) housewives are ridiculous. Stop fighting over dumb shit. My back is sore. Where are the dogs? When is this phone going to ring? I'm afraid of it ringing. I'm so nervous, it's hard to think straight. I'm hungry. I can't eat. Are the doctors discussing my results right now? I'm scared. My nails need new polish. Please God let this be good news. And repeat many times throughout the day and night. For all my friends and family who are dealing with me this week, I'm sorry if I'm grouchy. I can't help it. I have a headache. I'm tired. 💤
Prayers are appreciated.
I will post as soon as I know something.
Peace out Peeps!
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